Recently I’ve been doing a shit job of getting better and have hardly made any steps in the grand scheme of things, today was no exception, but I suppose that these things start off slowly and gain pace- if anything it’s been a reality shock.
I’ve begun to realize just how powerless I truly am, in all things. I’m weak, physically frail without the stature, size of physique to command the attention of those in conversation or in attracting a partner. I’m as far from charismatic as you can get, socially reclusive with a venomous sense of humor, I have a hard time warming up to people and even those I know I can be shy around.
Most of all though, the thing which I’m most proud of, my intellect. I can strip the atoms of a molecule and I can use social engineering to my advantage, every field of study I believe I know something in and in some my knowledge is comprehensive… but without qualifications to prove it… I’m nothing.
I’ve had it! I’ve relied and survived off of my two family members for so long now, like some form of deranged pariah and I’m going to make sure that if nothing else, I can at least stop doing that.
I will be faster, stronger, smarter, more resilient, an unassailable bastion of human fortitude… I will help people… i want to help people… even if I did nothing today, nothing at all I wont let these days define me.Until tomorrow.