Day 39: Figuring Out My Next Moves

It’s fair to say that I am not overly happy with the path that I’m currently on; don’t get me wrong though, I love science and maths, they’re wonderful and they let me understand and rationalise the world that I live in- I need that.

It isn’t all I need though.

You see, when growing up, most people either fall into one of the two arbitrary categories: science or art and within these two sections of academia are housed the ‘purer’ subjects, this isn’t to say that they’re somehow better than their mixed counterparts, in fact, quite the opposite, alone they are somehow… lesser.

Within science, you see: maths, chemistry, biology and physics predominantly, these are the subjects that people tend to think of as purely scientific. There are others such as engineering and programming, but since these can easily include arts in them, we’ll leave them to the side for ease of purpose at this point.

Within art, there are areas of study such as: art itself, music, drama and perhaps literature too. The same argument stands though that this could also include things such as architecture and game design, things that incorporate both fields, we’ll talk about that now.

There are such fields, like game design like engineering like architecture! fields that shape the world around them, that everyone sees, feels and partakes in, not niche areas of study that are hidden from the world, reserved only for those with the academic prowess and desire to study them specifically. These subjects are more than the sum of their parts and they shape, create, build and inspire… they did to me.

But, most people fall into one of two categories, most people, myself included (for the longest time) choose to embrace one of these aforementioned categories, either science or art, and decide that, somehow, it is better than the other, that it is the only way forwards, either pure aesthetics and culture or pure functionality and calculated moves.

The truth is however that neither of these mindsets are right, nor are they justifiable, to shun an entire aspect of life because you believe, with misguided understanding, that one path is superior to the other is… well, just fucking ludicrous.

However even with these prior statements, simply choosing to pursue study in one of the ‘conjoined’ fields doesn’t substitute for a knowledge and understanding of both aspects of science and art either.

That is why it’s not enough for me.

For the longest time I shunned the arts, I felt more comfortable, shielded in my world of facts and numbers, but numbers are cold and unforgiving and they make you cold and unforgiving, when you’re even a little off, you’re wrong and when you’re wrong… well, in the world of maths, you’re fucked!

As such, whilst I intend to continue learning and refining my understanding of science, I need and want to begin to cultivate my knowledge, understanding and ability within the arts. It doesn’t mean that I’m going to go out and don lycra in order to recite swan lake, but learning to draw and play music as well as fostering an understanding of prior masters and their works. That though has always appealed to me.

Then and only then, will that be enough for me!

I’ll be walking the path I desire.

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