Day 48: Wasted Day.

Today was another wasted day, there was something that I could have done, I could have done anything, even reading a few pages out of a book would have been something, but I didn’t even do that, I did nothing at all and today wasn’t wasted because I did nothing- today was wasted because I had the will to do something and didn’t.

Christmas generally sours my mood, it’s a bit of a rough time for me, everyone seems to have someone, a family member, a friend that they can go see and spend the day with… I haven’t spent a Christmas with anyone in years. So the season is sort of soured for me, it’s like the festive treats turn to ash in my mouth and the warm atmosphere just chills me to my core.

I’ve discussed it briefly, and it’s mainly because it’s not something that I care to go into detail about, but I thought that I could put this little note here in order to remind myself that it’s not all doom and gloom, that there is a silver lining to this time of year.

I started to like myself again.

That sounds like something you’d hear in a crappy self help guide, but it’s true, for the past two years or so I haven’t been able to look myself in the mirror, I hated what I saw.

So, today was a waste and tomorrow probably will be too… but, you know, come what may, there’s always another day.

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