63: Minor Improvement.

As of yesterday, I seem to have actually fallen asleep, and woken up, at a reasonable time and I must say, the difference is staggering; It’s odd when you realise that over sleeping makes you just as weary, if not more, as under sleeping. The difference is noticeable immediately, the very second you open your eyes you feel awake, sure you have that little urge that whisper “Just ten minutes more” in the back of your head but there’s no denying it, you’re awake and you actually feel like getting up.

Inversely, if we look at the night before, you actually feel like sleeping and whilst that sounds self explanatory, people rest in the night after all, it’s such a novel feeling to someone who hasn’t slept properly in a little over six months. To tell you the truth it was a bit of a struggle, the most distinct moment I can pluck out was at about nine O’clock. I was playing Rocket League, the match had just started, and I looked off to the side, before I knew it I was yanking my head back into an upright position and I had been kicked for idleness- staying awake was a genuine struggle.

For the past six months or so, the entire reason I’ve been sleeping at about four or five in the morning, not because I was feeling tired, but because I just though “I’ve been up for too long, I should probably sleep”. It’s weird, I’d almost forgotten what tiredness felt like.

Moving back to the events of today, I can safely say that things today were… pretty good, especially considering yesterday.  Today was pretty good, alongside actually sorting out my circadian rhythm which is, for those who are unaware.


A circadian rhythm is a roughly 24 hour cycle in the physiological processes of living beings, including plants, animals, fungi and cyanobacteria. In a strict sense, circadian rhythms are endogenously generated, although they can be modulated by external cues such as sunlight and temperature.


Put simply, it’s your body clock.

My sleeping pattern is back in order, I can only assume and hope that both my appetite and mental cognition will follow in short order, it is my hope that in returning to, both, a regular sleeping pattern and diet, that other tasks in m life will become easier too. The link between nutrition and physical stress is obvious, but it is less obvious in matters of the mind; you may keep your mental acuity sharp by testing it daily with puzzles, games and literature, but over time, without proper nutritional maintenance, its ability will decline.

I fear this has happened to me.

I can feel it, I’m still pretty sharp, but it’s fair to say that my mind is somewhat of a dulled blade at the moment, it’s functional and works well enough, but it doesn’t work as well as it should. Time to change that. Through eating, sleeping and testing my mind with my new found studies and interest in philosophical literature, I hope to revive the otherwise blunted blade- I want it razor sharp.

But all in all, today was good, there were no panic attacks, I ate well and slept well, it felt good and I can certainly feel the difference, I’ll be sure to update my findings tomorrow as well.

Until tomorrow.

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