Day 109: Panic Attacks

March 1st 2016

You’ll have to excuse me if today’s blog is a little lack luster, I had a panic attack about half way through the day and unfortunately this time, it was a rather severe one. I see panic attacks all the time in the media, but only once have I ever seen it portrayed exactly as I experience them. Everyone experiences panic attacks in their own way, but there are always a few universal symptoms but the most common ones I exhibit are: rapid breathing, accelerated heart rate, pins and needles in my extremities and finally faintness- it’s truly a horrifying experience, one that I would wish on no one.

That being said there are a few less common symptoms that I exhibit and they are arguably the most terrifying and physically strenuous of all; I should count myself lucky that there are only three. These three are: dizziness, blurred vision and worst of all, cold. I feel cold all over, like I’ve taken a dip in ice water and I shiver, gods do I shiver and it lingers, dwells in my flesh and takes hold of my bones- winters icy grip.

I don’t really know when it happened, but I must have passed out at some point because I woke up later in the day, curled up on the landing, feeling sick and shaking. It was dark when I woke up at eight O’clock.

It’s being a few days since it happened, and it’s still a little fuzzy for me but this is all I really remember, I know I ate something but I do not remember what and I know I bathed, but I don’t remember when.

I’m sorry.

I don’t want to talk about it anymore.

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