March 17th 2016
I’m certain that the statement “Never again” Is something that many people say after a night out on the town and, I would wager, they almost exclusively say it when they’re in the midst of a hangover. It’s only when they’re curled up in bed, retching and trying to shy away from all light do they curse their actions, never when they’re still out drinking but, as is beginning to become customary with this record, we will see again why I’m the odd one out.
Yesterday I drank an ‘ungodly’ amount of alcohol.
I’m of the opinion that there is nothing wrong with being black-out drunk, it happens to most of us, we’re only human and we all (all of us that drink that is) make the mistake of thinking that, after six or seven pints, the notion of six or seven more pints is a good idea- it’s never a good idea. In my case I drank the entirety of a bottle of whiskey and then decided that it would be a good idea to start drinking a crate of beer.
This was ‘easily’ one of the worst ideas I’ve ever had…
This series of absolutely appalling decisions culminated in what I can only describe as gut-wrenching agony as my insides went through Armageddon, I was so intoxicated that even after I had emptied the contents of my stomach into the porcelain throne I was still doubled over and was writhing around on my bathroom floor in mind-wracking anguish.
Were it that I had any sense of physical coordination left, any remaining vestige of sense that hadn’t been robbed of me by the alcohol in my system I would have absolutely called an ambulance. The best thing that I could have done at that moment was to call an ambulace and, more than likely, have my stomach pumped but, the thing I remember clearly through the blur of pain and nausea that was last night was the thought.
I have never felt pain or sickness like it, the sheer magnitude of the discomfort I was subject to was mindboggling and I NEVER want to feel like that again; it felt like I was subject to an eternity of suffering, I felt: hot, cold, dizzy, sick and in pain, all at the same time. I’m glad I didn’t pass out but, at the time, I just wished I’d pass out from sensory overload.