Day 133: Lazy

March 26th 2016

Despite having been reasonably active over the past few days it has come to my attention that I am becoming more and more lazy. Idleness of the mind is a horrible thing and my lack of interpersonal interaction is absolutely having an effect on me; it’s hard to focus on one thing at a time, my attention drifts and I’m not sleeping well either. Whether this is being cause by being idle for too long or whether it’s a side effect of any number of other things I do not know, but it’s time that I address the situation with professional help.

I’m writing this at two in the morning.

Because of this fact I realise that this is in fact a job for tomorrow, I will ring my local doctors and make certain that they’re aware of my situation, hopefully it will also relent me from my current bate as well. There’s really nothing to write here, I wanted to do things today: I wanted to write, brush up on my slipping Japanese and look into getting a steady stream of money going, but I didn’t.

Not ‘I couldn’t’… I didn’t…

This is the very meaning of laziness, the preference of nothing over something because it’s easier, I can honestly derive no other reason for my inactivity; my actions wouldn’t have granted me instant gratification so I didn’t do them. Shameful beyond all belief.

It is with this in mind that I must face the harsh reality that perhaps the purpose of this blog isn’t being fulfilled, instead of being a record of my successes it’s rapidly becoming a grimoire of my failings.

I’m in a horrible mood, truly… but giving up simply is not in my nature and it’s not an option either, I’ll keep trying until I’ve got nothing left…

Until tomorrow.

I’m sorry.

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